Women in Indian Society

Woman - The most under rated, maligned, abused and used living being on the face of the earth.

This definition of mine, is more so, in Indian Society, but thankfully less to a certain degree in American Society.

A couple of grisly murders across the world, prompted me to write about this.

One involved, a Indian man, hacking his wife to pieces, and then dumping her body in a garbage can, near Washington, DC, because, her father couldn't pay the dowry he demanded. The other involved, a young guy, hacking a girl, in her college, in India, (in her class room at college !), because, she was not interested in his amorous moves.

Not to mention, the numerous rape cases that are doing the rounds, especially in North India, New Delhi in particular (where even a diplomat was not spared, and was raped as she was returning from a conference!!)

And I've been asking myself, what does a woman mean, to an Indian male? I think, going by these crimes, its safe to assume, that to some males, a woman, is an object of convenience. When they get married, they tend to believe, that the wife has sex with them as often as the male would want ( an object of pleasure) that they will be the bearers of their children - (an object of procreation) and cook for them (a mini restaurant to say the least).

The problem, I feel is not just that these men woke up on the wrong side of the bed one morning, and decided a woman is just all that listed above. These are views that are formed in their mind, as they grow up, starting from the time they are born.

A special thing happens, when a male child is born to some Indian couples. Going by how they behave when the male child is of marriageable age, I think, the father automatically grows an extra testicle, and the mother grows an extra breast, or maybe gets a third ass cheek ! Their insistence and atrocious demands based on Hum ladke wale hain (We are the from the Groom side of the family, in Hindi.), or Naanga, mappillai veetu karanga (the same in Tamil), will surely lead one to believe that their demands are made because of their special status, when their boy was born, and they grew those extra parts of their anatomy. Because, I just fail to understand, what difference does it make, if theirs was a boy or a girl child !!!!

So deep is the feeling of male superiority and due to various socio-economic reasons, that female infanticide is rampant in India. This is such a disturbing trend, that Bharathi Raja, a Tamil film director of great skill, and absolutely wonderful movies, directed a movie titled Karuthamma.

Now, thanks to technology, female infanticide is taken one step higher (or is it lower?). If the ultrasound scan reveals its a girl, then the baby is promptly aborted !!
Is this better than killing the baby after its born? I frankly don't know. But if in one way, its better for sure, is that, the killer doesn't have to see the baby die.

The old tradition of female infanticide, and the relatively new tradition of female foeticide, has grown to such proportions in rural areas, that now, a social problem is looming large - There are just not enough girls for the men to marry !!! The sex ratio has drastically reduced.

I think, most of these views on the girl child, and the special status one gets upon the birth of a male child has got to do predominantly with economic reasons. The bride's side, ends up spending a huge chunk of the marriage expenses, if not all. The bride is expected to be decked in so many sovereigns of gold (even if the groom's side demand it, its a question of social pressure! And if the groom's side demand them, its usually worse.) And then, there is the timely tradition of dowry to be dealt with, where the bride's family, has to pay a huge chunk of money, give so much gold, or provide certain amenities for the groom, such as a motorcycle, or a car, or some shit like that.
And if the parents belong to the middle class or lower middle class backgrounds, then imagine the consequences.

The solution to such a problem, is to empower the girl child. Provide her with education, allow her to make her own decisions, and let her choose her mate, instead of the parents forcing someone down her throat.

Thankfully, the urban areas, are showing the way. More women are being educated. People who used to scoff at the idea of an educated girl, are beginning to welcome them.
Women are more common in the workplace, and more women, put their foot down, when they want to marry that special someone, instead of giving into parental pressure or emotional blackmail.

Yet in spite of such societal advances, crimes against women are still being committed, as mentioned earlier.

Mind you, whatever I've rambled about, is not the case with all or most of Indian men or their parents. I am sure, there is an equal number of men who understand, appreciate and respect women, and an equal number of Indian parents, who want to bring in a daughter-in-law, without any dowry demands (And I'm proud to state, my parents are such), and am also sure that for every parent who moans the birth of a girl child, there is a parent who rejoices at the birth of a girl instead of a boy.

And sadly enough, crimes against women happen here in the US as well. Besides the rape and murders, I was very surprised to learn from an American friend of mine, sometime back, that wife beating is common here as well !